We tend to over emphasize our rational sides, especially in work contexts, where adopting new skills is entirely a cerebral exercise for knowledge workers and experts. However, the reality is we need to hone various soft skills that require a different learning pathway. Intuitively we know that beneath the surface lies a mechanism at work which often has complete control over our minds. 

We may tell ourselves to show up to a situation with more courage, clout, or charisma…but thinking so isn’t enough. We must practice these “qualities of being” consciously, especially in lower stakes situations where the useful feedback can reinforce the evidence that our experimentation into showing up differently is working. Over time, we have shaped our personality through repetitive practice of certain ways of being - for better or worse - and tend to grease those grooves when rewarded. 

Good news is: these energy patterns that make up our personalities can shift into new patterns – giving us a bank of new resources to draw from in contexts where we wish we could show up differently. “Tuning” the volume on qualities we want to suppress (ie. impulsive commenting) or enhance (ie. conscientious sharing of ideas).  The key here is to quiet the “thought” and work with the underlying quality or energy pattern of this behavior.